"Where do they teach you to talk like that? Some Panama 'sailer wanna hump hump' bar, or is this getaway day and your last shot at the liquor cabinet. Go sell crazy some place else. We're all stocked up here."
"I gotta tell ya, if that did it for me, I'd be the happiest man alive."
"How did you end up with a dog?"
"Suckered in, set up, pushed around."
"Wait. I was going to make espresso."
"Yes, yes. Say it. He. Vas. My. BOYFRIEND!"
"Why're you wearing a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?"
"Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone'll be wearing them in the future."
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
"PEOPLE? I ain't 'people'. I'm a...'shimmering, glowing star in the cinema firmament.' It say so. Right there."
"Waddaya think I am, dumb or somethin'? Why, I make more money than Calvin Coolidge... Put together!"
"He's NOT Judge Judy and executioner!"
"Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up?"
"FASCIST!" *gun fire*
"What's it like being stabbed?"
"It was the single most painful experience of my life."
"What was the second most painful?"
"There's no charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness."
"Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur."
"You're about as useful as a poopy flavored lollypop."
"Pepper needs a new pair of shorts."
OK, that's it for now. Recognize any of them? Have some of your own? Share them in the comments!