As I was being tailgated last night, and trying desperately not to tailgate the painfully slow driver ahead of me (yeah, I get it—it's winter and the wind is blowing like a you-know-what, but come ON), I had a idea for a product that would make me a millionaire. Or get me arrested. Not sure which.
Picture it. A lighted sign—one of those long, narrow ones with the little Lite Brite looking bulbs that spell out words—that fits in the back window of your car. It would be hard wired to a dash-mounted control panel pre-programmed with helpful sayings. Things like, "You have your brights on" or "Your lights are NOT on" or "Accident ahead". You know, helpful things like that.
It would also allow you to create your own messages, such as, "Stop crawling up my ass, it won't make me go faster." And "Do you NOT see the cop up ahead???" And a favorite, "Stop flicking your &$*%@# cigarette butts out the window, #@%*!!" You could have all kinds of fun with it.
Now, because I'm all about safety first, the sign would not allow you to create custom messages while driving. We wouldn't want any accidents caused by texting!
I'm thinking, though, that this might cause an "accident" of another kind, due to some serious road rage sure to develop if you would use the more *ahem* colorful messages. That's where the "getting arrested" part comes in.
On second thought, it's probably not a good idea. Kind of like Dwight's idea to have a gun mounted to his front bumper. Ah, well. Guess I need come up with some other idea to make me a millionaire.