Thursday, December 10, 2009

My Million Dollar Idea

As I was being tailgated last night, and trying desperately not to tailgate the painfully slow driver ahead of me (yeah, I get it—it's winter and the wind is blowing like a you-know-what, but come ON), I had a idea for a product that would make me a millionaire. Or get me arrested. Not sure which.

Picture it. A lighted sign—one of those long, narrow ones with the little Lite Brite looking bulbs that spell out words—that fits in the back window of your car. It would be hard wired to a dash-mounted control panel pre-programmed with helpful sayings. Things like, "You have your brights on" or "Your lights are NOT on" or "Accident ahead". You know, helpful things like that.

It would also allow you to create your own messages, such as, "Stop crawling up my ass, it won't make me go faster." And "Do you NOT see the cop up ahead???" And a favorite, "Stop flicking your &$*%@# cigarette butts out the window, #@%*!!" You could have all kinds of fun with it.

Now, because I'm all about safety first, the sign would not allow you to create custom messages while driving. We wouldn't want any accidents caused by texting!

I'm thinking, though, that this might cause an "accident" of another kind, due to some serious road rage sure to develop if you would use the more *ahem* colorful messages. That's where the "getting arrested" part comes in.

On second thought, it's probably not a good idea. Kind of like Dwight's idea to have a gun mounted to his front bumper. Ah, well. Guess I need come up with some other idea to make me a millionaire.


  1. I have thought about this before! Voice activated messages that go across a lit-up electronic sign (written backwards for those in front of you to see in their rear view mirror) and regular text for those behind, located on the top of your car.
    Some helpful messages:
    Tail light is out. Tire is low. Stop texting! Hang up the phone! Gas cap is open. Secure your load!

  2. OK, now THAT is a million dollar idea. Voice activated - I love it! Especially the "Hang up your phone" one. Ooh, what about "Dude, you're turn signal is STILL GOING".

    Frieda - you're a genius.

  3. I have had a similar idea but like you gave it up... mostly for fear of the road rage. :)

  4. Yeah, why does James Bond get to have all the fun with bumper missiles and ejection seats. I like Frieda's idea of voice activated light messages, so much safer. Can you see some of the accents spelled out?! "Ged oud ov my vay!" My favorite is when people drive down the road with their scarf or belt hanging out of the car, so sad to know that it will be ruined but still very comical to see. So we need a sign message for that too. This post made me laugh and dream of all the things I would like to say.

  5. I like you idea, and I am doing it mentally all the time. I also say or shout it. I think that does the trick, the other one doesn't even need to hear it. If al else fails you can still make signs with your hands. They'll get it ;-)


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